How to tell If you might be a "high tech redneck"

• If your e-mail address ends in ".over.yonder.com"
• If you connect to the World Wide Web via a "Down Home Page"
• If the bumper sticker on your truck says "My other computer is a laptop"
• If your laptop has a sticker that says "Protected by Smith and Wesson"
• If you've ever doubled the value of your truck by installing a cellular phone.
• If your baseball cap read "DEC" instead of "CAT"
• If your computer is worth more than all your cars combined
• If your wife said "either she or the computer had to go", and you still don't miss her
• If you've ever used a CD-ROM as a coaster to set your beer on
• If you ever refer to your computer as "Ole Bessy"
• If your screen saver is a bitmap image of your favorite truck, tractor, or farm animal
• If you start all your e-mails with the words "Howdy y'all"

TOP TEN WAYS TO TELL IF A REDNECK HAS BEEN WORKING AT A COMPUTER.

• The motherboard is up on blocks.
• Outgoing faxes have tobacco stains on them.
• The six front keys have rotted out.
• The extra RAM slots have Dodge truck parts installed in them.
• The numeric key pad only goes up to six.
• The password is "Bubba".
• There is a gun rack mounted on the monitor.
• There is a Skoal can in the CD Rom.
• The keyboard is camouflaged.
• The mouse is referred to as a "critter."